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2007-04-23 - 10:01 a.m.

So, man, the Spoon show on Saturday was just incredible. The stars aligned and, fact is, the band's good. They played everything I like and the sound was great and it was crowded but not unbearably and all my friends were there. They closed with "My Mathematical Mind" and that's a good one.

And then--and it pays to have musician friends--through the opening band, we were able to go to the afterparty at a little club that closed down a couple of months ago but which still has power and to which someone has a key. The Spoon guys brought their cases of beer given to them by the club and I drank some of their Pilsner Urquells. The men's room is hard to find, so I showed the bass player there. Then, later, when I had to use the bathroom, I rounded the corner and was taking a step in when a voice said, "It's completely dark in here," and I'd listened to that voice a hundred times, singing songs and rasping it out. "I'm almost done." So I waited on the stairs next to the doorway. When the guy walked out I could see that it was Britt Daniel from Spoon. He's always got, like, ten-year-old bed head. So I said good show and said I hoped he liked the town and he thought for a second and said, thoughtfully, walking past me on the stairs, "I like Baltimore."

I have a new structure for my new one. I'm going to try it, anyway. I'm going to alternate chapters (contrapuntally!) between my first year of college (girls, weed, sex, trouble, police, books, the world) and a chronological sort of best-of look at growing up. Back and forth. The big criticism I heard with the other one was that they wanted a through-line and not jumbled-up stuff. Well, I can't, as of now, constitutionally do that. So I'm sort of half-doing it. I aim to half-please. But, really, every time I've tried to write something that I think is supposed to work, it ends poorly or, even worse, just okay.

I am, in general, wary of true believers, in anything. How can you be so sure? But also, since we only know it when we've done it, I remember the times I've been a true believer of something. And I look back on my vehemence and think: that was true for then. But now? Now, looking back, I just look like I was excited, and a little young.

That doesn't mean, however, that I won't take up the torch again. I really want to. What've you got?

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