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2006-06-16 - 2:14 p.m.

Coming into the parking lot today, I almost hit a girl driving a Honda Accord. I was rounding a corner, making a right, and going maybe a little faster than I should have. She was right in the middle of the aisle, definitely half on my side of the aisle. I braked hard. I was the hero. And when I drove by her, two feet of morning air between our faces, she glowered at me, pretty hard. I had the window down but the music was up loud and so I said, "Don't sass me, bitch." She was here to drop off two boxes of doughnuts to a girl who works in my department. I went over and got some doughnuts and I asked her what they were talking about when I passed them on the way to the front door. "She says you called her a 'black bitch,' but I told her that you would never say that." And I said, "Well, I did call her a bitch."

I'm getting a haircut today at a place called The Beatnik Barbershop. Their card advertises "coffee & a haircut: $12." I like that the haircut's listed second. Bitch.

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