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2005-07-23 - 12:55 p.m.

I want to get some more of this past month down before I forget.

I went to the drive-in movie place twice. The first time it was two other guys and me and we all somehow fit in the bed of a Ford Ranger. I got bit a few times. The second time was with a girl with a Russian name and at first we tried to sit in the car, but that was too hot. Then we tried the hood, but it's a long drive and that was way too hot. Then, after half of Herbie Reloaded, I turned the car around, got a sleeping bag out of the back, and we sat on the trunk, kind of awkwardly and kind of comfortably. I should have brought cushions or pillows. And then Fantastic Four was the second movie and we couldn't really hear it and we didn't really pay attention. We talked a lot and joked a lot and that's the truth.

I'm pretty much sold, for sure, on moving back to Baltimore. Little reason to stay in Norfolk. I wish there were more reasons, because I don't hate it here. It's just that my friends have all moved away and I lost a bunch in the break-up, and that was months ago. I made this decision within the first few days up there.

Absolutely nothing's changed with my big brother. We drank and he borrowed a little money and I don't know how he paid for anything at all. Well, his girlfriend, of course. And that's absolutely the same, too. She's still putting up with it. He hasn't worked in a year and eight months, or something exponential. He's got our dad's second car out front, but it's got a bad muffler and my brother never got it fixed and so now Dad wants it back because his other car is a big giant truck and gas costs $2.40 a gallon. That's a mess. I never realized how much my brother resents our dad. It's gotten worse.

I made gazpacho once and tried two other homemade kinds. Mine's best.

I left a really nice pair of sunglasses at Friends. I stole them from the lost and found at school back in May. So it's karma. They fit my head really well, though.

It's true I felt as if I were in college again, meeting all the girls I met. Friends of friends new to town and girls at this job and girls serving drinks at this bachelor party at the warehouse. The one I liked the most, who seemed to like me the most, was the flakiest, I think. It's also funny how guys with girlfriends will talk about their girlfriends' friends. Kevin said: "She's weird. She needs, like, total attention, all the time." And I can see that. Also, I think I may have done something I almost never do. One night, sleepless and drunk at three or something, I may have sort of propositioned the warehouse's first-ever girl roommate. And though she politely declined, she reverse propositioned me the next day, sort of. This was all done very politely.

I wrote about two paragraphs in a month, though, and that's the price of the busy after-work hours. I hope I can still do it. I got five more rejections from journals, and one from an agent. I keep a hand-written list of places I've submitted to. I was tired of all the rejections, so last night I took a nasty-yellow highlighter to the few that have accepted. It's a volume game. One editor wrote, "Thanks, but I'd like a more adult voice." Yowks.

I temp for two days next week. At a law firm. How do they do it, the paralegals and the assistants? Every day, how?

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