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2005-04-28 - 5:09 p.m.

Man, I hate to complain, but I got two doses of rejection today. I'd sent a story to a journal that had published something of mine before and today the editor wrote back saying he liked parts but that in general it "didn't work." That's a pretty general indictment and while I sort of knew it needed more attention, now I'm rethinking what I thought was a solid story.

And just now, I got an email from the school in Albany I'd interviewed with a month ago. I knew, since it was taking this long for them to get back to me, that I probably wasn't going to get it, but actually seeing the reasoning in the email brought it home. The chair said, in essence, you did well and we liked you but you weren't our first choice because of your lack of experience. I'm only now realizing how big of a deal this interview was, to even get it. And I thought I had experience, at least relative to most graduating master's students I know. Well, crap shit.

All right. I'm busy printing my thesis for binding and officialness and doing the same for a friend who lives in Vermont who can't do it himself because he needs to get signatures and wax stamps and whatever else they need.

Having a hard time finding somewhere to work for the first half of the summer. I'm no fan of office work, but temping is easy and without dirt and sweat and I'm decent enough at it. Still, I've been badgering my temp lady for weeks and she won't return the emails.

Right. So tonight I'm going to go up to school, make use of the key to the print room that I never should have been given, and steal off into the night with 320 pages of printed paper under my arm, howling at the skies, feet dancing on top of little, tiny wings the size of lithium atoms because sometimes you've just got to remind yourself that the world can be a beautiful place. And why not?

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