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2004-11-08 - 1:31 p.m.

I'm breaking my online journaling fast to bring you very important news. It's six days later and I'm still heartbroken. Just heartbroken, sad, and resigned. A mighty triumverate.

I can't get that stupid map out of my head. The one with the blue up in the top right corner and the blue out on the West Coast and some more around the Great Lakes. But all that red. Jesus. All that red.

The thing is, I was so sure about this one. So sure that people would see what a bunch of liars these guys are, what harm they're doing to our country. Shit, man, I'm as patriotic as anybody.

But the thing about blue-state patriotism, it seems to me, is that as great as this country is (free elections, no coup-de-tats, rags-to-riches, majority rules with minority rights, etc.), the thing is, IT CAN BE SO MUCH BETTER. And it can be, so much better.

That poll question that's in the news sticks in my head, too. The most important factor for the most voters: values. What's that mean? I can only guess it's code for Christianity. Don't get me wrong, I'm no Bible expert, but from what I remember from Sunday school, this guy and his people don't stand for what's at the heart of that book. Kerry, for his faults as a communicator, did. Reason over blind faith. Ponderance over irrational action. Respect for those unlike you versus allegiance to list of dogmas not held by everybody.

As far as the campaign process goes, my man made some mistakes, obviously. Because otherwise, there'd be a whole lot more blue out there. It comes down to public relations, and the liberals failed. Otherwise, why on earth would poor whites vote for a guy who's running up a defecit, who's sending kids from small towns into guerrila warfare, who's response to the dearth of manufacturing jobs is, essentially, "that's how it is"? Fact is, the conservatives played on voters' fears and they did it, from a political standpoint, with real genius. That's what hurts the most, I think. We got played.

Someday, hopefully soon, I'll get angry again, like I was for the last four years. But for now, I'll stay sad for a while. I hope I don't ever have to get to the grieving.

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